and I like to fall back on things. I like to have false hopes sometimes and like to believe that the best is out there for all. However; I’ve always had this inner yearning that somehow some person in my life would change. Most likely because it wasn’t who this person had been for a long time. It’s like you’re sitting at the beach and the waves are calm. Then all of a sudden, BAM! Here comes HUGE ENORMOUS waves of foam. That’s how I felt and last night, I definitely felt it. I felt it when this person wouldn’t return any respect to myself and all that I had put into these past few years of my life. I was like “really dude?” But then, my two friends sat there with me as I hugged my teddy bear and were like Ashley, that guy has let go of someone truly wonderful and special. a Christian of practicing faith who has her head on straight. and I was like “mhmmm sure yeah.”
But now, looking back on that, I see that God has put these obstacles in my life to make myself a better person in the end run. I believe that each experience in my life comes because I need to learn from it, that something will happen because just because. Ya know what, I could choose to sit all mopey and be upset because yes, a true friend of mine decided to just cut all strings with myself. Or I could do my signature happy dance to whatever peppy Taylor Swift song was on the radio, my favorite being Long Live. Because seriously? Why wouldn’t I want to remember my happy memories. they are what shaped me into who I am today, perhaps into the woman I may someday end up being. I ask for prayers at this time for myself.